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Images ~ Concepts ~ Wisdom:  Notes from Dr. Forni's Presentations on Civility

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Dr. Forni addresses community leaders in Oshkosh.
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Oshkosh School Superintendent Don Viegut gets his book signed by Dr. Forni.

Dr. Forni's Four Cornerstones:
The Bedrock Foundation of Civility

  1. Life is a relational experience
  2. The quality of our lives depends upon the quality of our relationships
  3. The quality of our relationships depends upon the quality of our relational skills
  4. Civility and good manners are effective, time-proven codes of relational skills

Working Toward a Definition of "Civility" - notes from Dr. Forni's presentations

Civility:
  • Benevolent awareness of others
  • We are civil when we are aware of others and weave restraint, respect, and consideration into the very fabric of this awareness
  • We are civil when we care about others and we treat them well ¨

"Civility does the everyday busy work of goodness." - P.M. Forni

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Jeff Gilderson-Duwe from the Osh. Public Library introduces P.M. Forni (2/24/11)

The Principle of  Respect for Persons 

We ought to treat others as
ends in themselves
rather than as means
for the satisfaction of our
immediate needs and desires.

~ P.M. Forni

Civility as a Part of our Everyday Life - P.M. Forni

Three Connections Make Civility A
Crucial Part of Everyone's Life
There is a  Connection Between ...
  1. Civility and Ethics
  2. Incivility and Violence
  3. Civility and Quality of Life
What Can Civility do for Individuals and for Organizations?

Civility ...
  1. strengthen social bonds
  2. reduce stress
  3. increase work quality
  4. improve job satisfaction

Thus:  Civility is good for individuals, relationships and business effectiveness!

What is Rudeness?

Rudeness Is ...

  • disrespectful toward others
  • harms others
  • an abuse of power
  • a lack of empathy toward others
  • disregarding the interests of others
  • attempting to control through invalidation of others
  • WRONG

Why be Concerned with Rudeness?

Because Rudeness ...

  • weakens social bonds
  • erodes social support
  • erodes self-esteem
  • adds to stress
  • bruises relationships
  • poisons the workplace
  • can escalate into violence

What are the Main Causes or Conditions Associated with Incivility?


  1. When an individual experiences a lack of discipline or   self restraint
  2. When an individual is under stress
  3. When an individual acts in a condition that seems anonymous
  4. When an individual acts in circumstances where there is the pressure of time

Nine Rules for a Civil Life by Dr. P.M. Forni

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Dr. Forni meets with Oshkosh School Board (Feb. 25, 2011)
  1. PRESENCE.  Slow down and be present in your life
  2. EMPATHY.  Listen to the voice of empathy
  3. POSITIVE.  Keep a positive attitude
  4. RESPECT.  Respect others and grant plenty of validation
  5. GRACIOUSNESS.  Disagree graciously and refrain from arguing
  6. CONNECTIONS.  Get to know the people around you
  7. CONTROL.  Never raise your voice or lose your temper
  8. CONFIDENCE.  Consider yourself a good, accomplished person who does not have to prove him- or herself all the time
  9. RESPONSIBILITY.  Do not shift the burden of your insecurity upon others in the form of hostility 

Contact Information for Dr. Forni

Dr. P. M. Forni
Department of Romance Languages and Literatures
Johns Hopkins University
3400 N. Charles Street
Baltimore, MD 21218
phone: 410.516.8047
fax: 410.516.5358
forni@jhu.edu

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