Civility and Random Acts of Kindness Make a Difference
February 12, 2017 in The Oshkosh Northwestern
By Walter Scott
The week of February 12 through February 18th is Random Acts of Kindness Week created in 1995 in Denver Colorado.
The Oshkosh Civility Project began in 2011. The project is patterned after similar programs in Duluth, Minnesota and Truckee, California, and follows the principles of Dr. P.M. Forni and his book Choosing Civility.
We have many contemporary issues challenging us and our relationship with others. The above referenced programs complement each other very well. One of the principles of Civility, emphasized by Dr. Forni, is to take responsibility. We need to be responsible for our actions, our thoughts, and what comes out of our mouths. An act of kindness to a friend or a stranger models both of these programs.
The January 22nd issue of the Oshkosh Northwestern's Opinion Page featured an article about "promoting Election Day healing". This article emphasized listening, being inclusive, and showing respect. All are key points of the Oshkosh Civility Project.
A recent obituary for Dr. Bob Douglas, long time radiologist in the Fox River Valley, told how he "encouraged thoughtful discussion". The Oshkosh Civility Project is not about saying we have to agree with each other. What it is saying, is that we should create an atmosphere or environment where it is safe to disagree. When we have discussions, we need to be certain our view points are based on fact, not gossip. If we pay attention, listen more than we speak, and take responsibility for what we say and do, we will have a thoughtful discussion.
Political discussions have become very volatile, and it is tempting to avoid those people who we know have a different opinion than our own. I have found that if other areas of discussion are opened, I often have a “thoughtful discussion”, and an opportunity to meet and get to know an interesting person. We need to get past politics.
Tom Herzing, Community Columnist, recently reminded us that it is PC to use good manners. Kevin Ralofsky, CEO of Verve, is mentoring high school students at Lourdes Academy on the subject of etiquette. We are often told the Civility Project is really nothing more than good manners - or perhaps what our mothers taught us.
We are fortunate to live in a community that emphasizes the importance of civility and acts of kindness, but we can always improve. Let's each of us take time this week to go out of our way to perform a random act of kindness, or maybe more than one. Let's treat each other in a civilized manner. Conflict should not determine our identity. We can be a light to others if we display love, kindness, and walk humbly.
I am often asked if the Oshkosh Civility Project is having an effect in our community. My answer is that if it is affecting your personal actions and encouraging you to think twice before speaking, it is working.
NOTE: All underlined words are key rules of considerate conduct (Civility) as written by Dr. Forni.
Walter Scott is a Founding Member of the Oshkosh Civility Project
February 12, 2017 in The Oshkosh Northwestern
By Walter Scott
The week of February 12 through February 18th is Random Acts of Kindness Week created in 1995 in Denver Colorado.
The Oshkosh Civility Project began in 2011. The project is patterned after similar programs in Duluth, Minnesota and Truckee, California, and follows the principles of Dr. P.M. Forni and his book Choosing Civility.
We have many contemporary issues challenging us and our relationship with others. The above referenced programs complement each other very well. One of the principles of Civility, emphasized by Dr. Forni, is to take responsibility. We need to be responsible for our actions, our thoughts, and what comes out of our mouths. An act of kindness to a friend or a stranger models both of these programs.
The January 22nd issue of the Oshkosh Northwestern's Opinion Page featured an article about "promoting Election Day healing". This article emphasized listening, being inclusive, and showing respect. All are key points of the Oshkosh Civility Project.
A recent obituary for Dr. Bob Douglas, long time radiologist in the Fox River Valley, told how he "encouraged thoughtful discussion". The Oshkosh Civility Project is not about saying we have to agree with each other. What it is saying, is that we should create an atmosphere or environment where it is safe to disagree. When we have discussions, we need to be certain our view points are based on fact, not gossip. If we pay attention, listen more than we speak, and take responsibility for what we say and do, we will have a thoughtful discussion.
Political discussions have become very volatile, and it is tempting to avoid those people who we know have a different opinion than our own. I have found that if other areas of discussion are opened, I often have a “thoughtful discussion”, and an opportunity to meet and get to know an interesting person. We need to get past politics.
Tom Herzing, Community Columnist, recently reminded us that it is PC to use good manners. Kevin Ralofsky, CEO of Verve, is mentoring high school students at Lourdes Academy on the subject of etiquette. We are often told the Civility Project is really nothing more than good manners - or perhaps what our mothers taught us.
We are fortunate to live in a community that emphasizes the importance of civility and acts of kindness, but we can always improve. Let's each of us take time this week to go out of our way to perform a random act of kindness, or maybe more than one. Let's treat each other in a civilized manner. Conflict should not determine our identity. We can be a light to others if we display love, kindness, and walk humbly.
I am often asked if the Oshkosh Civility Project is having an effect in our community. My answer is that if it is affecting your personal actions and encouraging you to think twice before speaking, it is working.
NOTE: All underlined words are key rules of considerate conduct (Civility) as written by Dr. Forni.
Walter Scott is a Founding Member of the Oshkosh Civility Project
August Declared Civility Month in Oshkosh
July 18, 2015 in The Oshkosh Northwestern
By Tom Grogan
The Oshkosh Civility Project has named August as Civility Month for the greater Oshkosh area.
Each day during August, the project will post a daily reminder concerning the principles and practice of civility in everyday life. “This new project builds on the past success of our work,” said Walter Scott Jr., the leader of the core team. “With nearly 1,000 people having signed our pledge, we see the monthly reminder as another way to communicate our commitment to acting in civil ways.”
The idea was developed upon a suggestion from Sue Panek from the Oshkosh Area United Way. “The Civility Project will have a presence at the Oshkosh Farmers Market on Saturday, July 25,” Panek said. “By featuring a civility concept each day during the month of August, we will provide another opportunity for people to reflect on the importance of our standards of conduct.” Panek indicated that calendars featuring the daily statements will be distributed at the Farmers Market and are available for download at the project’s website at www.oshkoshcivilityproject.org. The daily Facebook feed will be at: https://www.facebook.com/OshkoshCivilityProject.
“Civility is a dynamic commitment,” said core team member Margy Davey, who represents the League of Women Voters of Winnebago County. “Each day we are reminded of the ways that we can improve as individuals and help to strengthen our shared community.” The project noted that the core team has been augmented through the addition of several new members: Carl Schroeder, Howard Brown and Stephanie Steinfort.
Scott said the new members of the core team are bringing new energy and drive to the work of the Oshkosh Civility Project. “We have many things that challenge us in our daily lives,” Scott said. “By practicing a commitment to civility, we can remind ourselves of how our actions impact others.” Panek added that the core team, “sees this new initiative as a way to help sharpen and focus daily practice.” This initiative will be developed and implemented by UW-Oshkosh student Isaiah Gray who is also serving as the marketing intern for the Civility Project.
The Oshkosh Civility Project was developed in 2010 based on the work of Dr. P.M. Forni and his book, Choosing Civility (2003). The Oshkosh Civility Project has been active and engaged in community, regional and broader efforts to promote understanding and awareness of how our communication patterns impact others. “We believe that our community is strong and can be made even stronger,” Scott said. “This is why we project the project here and helps to explain why the message continues to have vitality.”
The Oshkosh Civility Project
April 1, 2014 in Community Life, News & Views, Oshkosh
By Kim Biedermann
When Walter “Scotty” Scott went on vacation to Truckee, California to visit his son, he never expected to come back to Oshkosh with an idea that would influence so many residents. Located in the Sierra Nevada mountains, the small community of Truckee was embracing the idea of civility – the concept of respectful behavior – through The Civility Project’s Speak Your Peace campaign. Though Scotty discovered the idea in a small mountain town 2,000 miles away, the roots for this project were established just one state over from us in Duluth, Minnesota. The book “Choosing Civility” by Dr. P.M. Forni served as a reference authority to make this concept a reality.
In 2001, the Duluth Superior Area Community Foundation (DSACF) noticed its community had issues coming to consensus on numerous topics, and people were oftentimes fighting until a position was won. During this time, the DSACF wanted to find a way to connect the younger generation to the community, and created the Millennium Group comprised of 100 individuals who represented the next generation. While the Millennium Group was vetting out important topics to address in the community, the idea of improving the public dialogue as a means to get more people involved in the political process rose to the top of the list of issues the group discussed. The Millennium Group shared that many were hesitant to get involved because the debate over issues had gotten so contentious and, with this, the idea for The Civility Project was born.
Guiding the idea of The Civility Project is a campaign called Speak Your Peace, which consists of nine core principles. “They [the civility principles] can be understood and modeled, both good and bad examples, by people of all ages including little children,” said Karen Heikel, core team member for The Oshkosh Civility Project. These principles are: Pay attention, listen closely, be inclusive, don’t gossip, show respect, be agreeable, apologize sincerely, give constructive comments, and accept responsibility. Each skill is a critical component in having a conversation, especially when disagreement is bound to happen.
Since 2010, this concept has been alive in Oshkosh, thanks largely to a small group of dedicated individuals, including Scotty. The small group expanded to a core group which now consists of 14 individuals who work on spreading the message of civility throughout the community by having booths at events, distributing literature about civility, giving presentations, and conducting trainings. “I have trained children as young as third grade and up to senior groups,” Karen Heikel said about the various community trainings she has done.
While the situation in Oshkosh is much different than the situation in the Duluth-Superior region, Tom Grogan, core team member for The Oshkosh Civility Project, thinks the reason this campaign has taken hold is because of what our region values. “Civility has been an easy sell in Oshkosh because it reflects the shared values that are already here. When people see the framework of the Speak Your Peace campaign, they instantly recognize it restates commonly understood principles of interaction,” said Tom. He also feels that by focusing on interpersonal communication, people can better resonate with The Civility Project because that’s how people understand conduct.
After three years of being in existence, The Oshkosh Civility Project continues to seek out new opportunities to promote civility and to engage Oshkosh residents. With over 900 community members signing an online pledge to “aspire to practice” the nine core principles, it has certainly had a broad reach throughout the community, but Scotty and others on the core team recognize there is still more to do. “We need to plan an event that will keep the focus on Civility, contact our 900, and ask them to help us open new doors to spread the importance of carrying our message to other areas of our community. We have a great start, but there is more work to be done,” Scotty said when talking about the future of The Oshkosh Civility Project.
If you’re interested in becoming more involved The Oshkosh Civility Project, whether you’ve already signed the pledge or are just hearing about it for the first time, there are two upcoming training sessions on May 1. For more information on the trainings, the website can be found at:
http://www.oshkoshcivilityproject.org/training.html.
Kim Biedermann worked for the Business Success Center at UW Oshkosh and is an occasional writer for The Scene.
Original source: http://new.scenenewspaper.com/2014/04/the-oshkosh-civility-project/
